Kids love this time of year, while parents like me dread Halloween because of the GOBS of candy. So in looking for a solution, I came across THE answer. Here’s an article on it that I wrote for this month’s Maui Mamas Magazine:

What To Do With All That Halloween Candy?
CANDY SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS!

Goblins, ghouls, witches and ghosts… It’s that time of year again for scary things, but the most frightening of all on Halloween is ALL THAT CANDY!
I love all the costumes.  And even the “trick or treating” is fun.  But if you’re a mom like me, I cringe when I think of my kids eating Halloween candy and so much of it! Last year my toddlers scored such a loot that was astonishingly cool to them and absolutely horrifying to me and my husband (based on our usual “no sugar” nutritional sense).

Being a health conscious parent, you can hide it, donate it, negotiate about how much they can eat or just throw it away.  But I always feel kind of guilty for taking away the treasure that they worked so hard for. So how can you let your kids keep their candy, let them enjoy it and as a responsible mom, still feel good about it?  The answer: Candy “Science” Experiments!

“Drop a Warhead in baking soda water and see bubbles erupt.  Leave a Skittles in water, the “S” floats to the surface.  Melt a Starburst and see shiny oil spots form.”  These are just a few examples of candy science experiments from candyexperiments.com.

Why do it all alone when you can gather up some friends and have a Post-Halloween Candy Experiment  Party!
Kids can wear rubber gloves, aprons, and swim goggles to turn your home into a Candy Science Lab!

Candyexperiments.com suggests these experiments:
The Acid Test
Floating M’s
Color Separation (make a ROYGBIV rainbow with skittles in water)
Dissolving Hot/Cold
Sink/Float
Free For All: Let kids smash, microwave or anything else they can think of.

Here are some other ideas:

Make a Mentos/Soda Erupting Volcano

Make a Game Of It:
Guess which one will float
Guess what part will melt away last

Crafts:
Melt hard candies and lollipops and pour into cookie cutters to make stained glass ornaments.  Poke a hole and string it up for your Christmas tree!

I know my kids will be excited to try these experiments and maybe even forget about eating the candy at all!  That’s nothing to say Boo to!  Have a Happy and Safe Halloween!

P.S. Check out my last year’s blog post about Holidays- making it about tradition rather than commercialism.

Your Sensible Girlfriend

A picture is worth a thousand words, but video is the next best thing to being there.  Believe it or not, my soon-to-be 4 year old son came up with the idea of making a video birthday invitation!  I was planning on sending out a conventional “e-vite” for my son’s 4th birthday party- a rocket themed party where we planned to invite preschool-aged kids to try out our homemade zip line.  The birthday boy was excited to show off his dad’s super-cool homemade zip line, but he was worried that most of his young friends would not know what a zip line is.  He said, “why don’t we make a video to show them how zip lining works!”. I instantly knew this was a brilliant idea.  The video invitation did its job perfectly.  Not only did it get rave reviews, but more importantly every child (who was not out of town) came to the party excited to zip line and we even had a few other friends who came along!  For me personally, it’s the kind of project that quenches my creative thirst.  And, nothing is more fun than watching your kids laugh, smile and be giddy over and over and over! (which is what you do when you are editing video)

Do you want to make a video invitation?  Here’s what I did… Read the rest of this entry…

Sometimes the simplest ideas are brilliant. My three and a half year old son came up with this one.  He said, “Let’s make cookies and put them on a stick!”  He recently discovered the joy of eating popsicles, so eating things on a stick was fresh in his mind.

He was also motivated because making cookies always means he gets to lick the batter… and of course younger brother was too.

I’ve noticed that young children immerse themselves in everything they do at a very deep level. So when they mix, add ingredients, and taste what they are baking, getting lost in the “doing”, their hands *and hearts* are fully engaged in the experience.  I pause every time noting that this kind of activity is truly “food” for their soul.

For young kids, imitation is a crucial building block to their life-long success and well being. When they get to do “what mom does” and literally get their hands in it, not only does it seems to cool to them…  But also, when they see *their idea*, *their creation* come to life, it builds on their self esteem.  They see themselves as creators and feel empowered by it.  I’m so happy and impressed that when my three and a half year-old son wants something, the first thing out of his mouth is not “can we buy it”, but rather “how can we make it?”

His proud little smile says it all!

I hope you can find what gives your children this sense of pride and satisfaction.  And do it with them often…

Bon Appetit, enjoy your cookie on a stick treat!

Your Sensible Girlfriend

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies On A Stick Recipe

(Adapted from Cook’s Illustrated Chewy-Oatmeal Rasin Cookies)

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

16 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

1 cup packed light brown sugar (or succanat)

3/4 cup granulated sugar

2 large eggs

3 cups old-fashioned oats

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line baking sheet with parchment paper or silicone mat.  Whisk dry ingredients.  Beat butter until creamy.  Add sugars; beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Beat the eggs, one at a time.  Stir the dry ingredients into the butter-sugar mixture with a wooden spoon or rubber spatula.  Stir in oats and chocolate chips.  Roll cookie dough into 2  to 2 & 1/2 inch balls and stick a popsicle stick into the middle of it.  Bake until the edges of the cookie are brown, about 22 to 25 minutes.  Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for 2 minutes.  Lift cookies with a wide spatula.  Let cool 30 minutes (unless you must eat one immediately). (And yes, we do save our used popsicle sticks for projects like this!)

How cute and convenient is this idea!  …And so easy to make!  Mini, muffin-sized crustless quiches were a hit in my house.  I served them for breakfast.  I packed some for my brother-in-law’s eight hour plane flight.  Put some in my kids lunch boxes and sent some with my husband for work. I also gave some to the family that I am a personal chef for.  Everyone loved them.
I can’t take credit for the idea.  I found it online from Cooking Light… but I did not follow the Cooking Light recipe of course since I don’t believe in cooking light.  I believe in cooking delicious!

Here’s how you make these Mini Crustless Quiches:

• Scramble 8 eggs (cooking light suggested 5 eggs and 3 egg whites)

• Add heavy cream.  I used half of an egg shell and filled it 8 times.

• Mix in Cheddar cheese or any cheese you like.

• Saute anything you want inside of them.  I sauted onion, garlic and mushrooms then later added crisp bacon and freshly chopped chard.

• Pour egg mixture into a dozen count muffin tin.

• Add sauted veggies.

• Add freshly chopped chard.

• Top with crisp previously cooked bacon (or sausage)

• Bake for 10 minutes at 425 degrees, until toothpick comes out clean.

• Cool slightly before eating.

Voila!  Gourmet on the Go!

Enjoy!

Your Sensible Girlfriend

Proud Little Gardeners Sprout Wheat Grass Hats

Kids love getting their hands dirty. So I knew my kids would have fun when we planted wheat berry seeds with our playgroup friends.

Our Friend's Pots With Freshly Planted Wheat Berry Seeds

I wanted the children to see how plants grow, to give them an idea of what Springtime is about. What I didn’t expect was the excitement and the awe that my boys had witnessing the magic of a plant coming to life.

Each day, they would water the plants with me and comment on each friend’s plant.

Tiny Shoots Appear After 3 Days

They couldn’t wait to see how much each plant had grown every morning.

Taller Shoots After 4 days of Growth

A week after planting the wheat berry seeds, our playgroup friends came back to see their fully grown wheat grass plants.

Full Grown Wheat Grass Plants

The children looked at the plants with awe.  I said to them, “this is what you grew with your own hands”.  I could see that idea sinking in as they stared at their own potted plant.

It was beautiful to see each of them glowing with pride.

Boys Giddy About Wheat Grass Plants

My boys loved to carry their potted plants around, sporting a sense of ownership.

Because it was their own, they felt free to taste the grass without looking for acceptance or approval.

Yummy Wheat Grass!

Chomp, Chomp! Wheat Grass Yum!

They ran around with the plants, even put them on their heads.  These were their creation, their babies.

Boys Run Around With Their Plants

They were celebrating the life they brought to be.

Here’s How To Grow Your Own Wheat Grass Plant:

• Buy Wheat Berry Seeds (At your local health food store)

• Soak the seeds in water over night.

• Plant them in potting soil at least 1/4 deep into the soil.  Make sure there is a drainage hole in the bottom of your planter or pot.

• Water once a day.  If the soil becomes dry, water it a second time.

• Make sure your plant gets lots of direct sunlight.

• You should see the first signs of growth in three days.

• In a week, your Wheat Grass Plant will be ready to fully admire or eat or juice into Wheat Grass Juice!

Enjoy!

Your Sensible Girlfriend

2 Year-Old Rear-Facing, 3 & 3/4 Year-Old Front Facing in Car Seat

I thought I was the only mom who continued to keep her children in the rear-facing position in the car seat after they turned one year old. I thought I was the only mom who would get strange looks and comments from others when they would see my toddlers still “rear-facing”.  And I thought I must be the only one who has experienced a serious car crash and knows that even in low speed crashes, whiplash is extremely violent to the neck and spinal cord.  But it turns out that I am not the only one.

Boys Having Fun In Car

I talked to a mom online who feels the same as I do– from the comments and strange looks to her gut feeling telling her to keep her children rear-facing.  She sent me some information that confirmed that listening to that gut feeling has been keeping our children safe.  It turns out that mothers in Sweden keep their children rear-facing until they are four years old.  Research shows that only 9 children within 5 years died in Sweden due to car crashes.  Compare that to the fact that the leading cause of death for children in the U.S. after they are one year old (once they are turned around forward facing) is from car crashes. This woman told me that it was hard to get her friends to realize the seriousness of this until she found this sobering information put out by a group called Car Safety 4 Kids.

Most parents I know turn their kids forward facing once they turn one year old because there has been information out there from pediatricians and others credible agencies that recommended doing so.  But many parents don’t realize that since April 2009, the American Academy of Pediatrics updated their recommendation to keep children rear-facing until at least two years old. In addition, they say that if your car seat allows your child to sit rear-facing beyond two years old, then they recommend you keep your child rear-facing until they are beyond the age or weight limits of the car seat in the rear-facing position.

Luckily my husband agrees with me on keeping the children rear-facing.  He met an emergency room nurse that told him to please keep your kids rear-facing until at least 35 pounds. She said that she sees so many horrific accidents that could have been greatly minimized by keeping the children rear-facing.  My oldest child is now 40 pounds, three and three quarters years old.  I just turned his car seat around to front facing because his legs were falling asleep being scrunched up.  I am glad that I kept him rear-facing for these past few years.  Now his spinal cord and neck are much stronger, so that in the event of an accident, he won’t be as vulnerable to serious or fatal injury.  (The younger the child, the more likely his or her thin spinal cord could stretch and break from whiplash; that is the same affect as decapitation!!!) Having been in some serious auto accidents myself, I know how violent and long-lasting whiplash can be.   That’s why the Swedish take this seriously to keep millions of children from dying.  If only more Americans would realize it is a matter of life and death, we could save millions of American children’s lives.

Your Sensible Girlfriend

After the recent earthquake in Japan, friends and family have been calling me in a panic about the possibility of radioactivity from Japan’s damaged nuclear reactors reaching Hawaii and the West Coast. They all said they needed to hear a sensible voice in the sea of fear and panic from news reports, their local community members and other sources.

Panic and fear can have powerful results and sometimes can even be harmful. It can cause people to react in many ways.  Some people are glued to the news reports getting more anxious with every new bit of information.  Some are very quick to swallow any remedy they hear will block radiation without fully knowing the effects and the dangers involved.  Some have even fled their homes to live in a “safer” place.  I would like to suggest taking a step back from this whirl-wind and taking a few moments to breathe and reflect on a different, may I say  more “sensible” perspective.

I have to say that I do not believe in ignoring the fact that there is a dangerous situation happening in Japan. People are dead and more may die, that is a tragic fact.  I do believe in taking reasonable precautions and monitoring the situation without inundating your consciousness with too much angst-inducing information.  That said, here are some things to consider…

Every bit of information that I have gotten from scientist friends (really friends of friends) say that it is not as bad as the news reports are telling us. Since I have produced and written news reports myself, I can tell you that the news reporters are doing their best to give you good information, but they often report the most “compelling” information which, in it’s nature of being compelling, can make a the audience react with emotion (fear, angst or otherwise).   In a nutshell, the scientist are saying that the radiation from the nuclear plant in Japan will travel through the air, but disperse very quickly with distance.  In fact, with every mile you are away from the source the levels decrease by the square.  For example, if your radiation is 100 at the source if you are 4 yards away the radiation has decreased to approximately 25.  This assumes a stationary source. This is not the case if you deal with an atmosphere. Radiation can spread with the wind but again over distance it will be diluted very rapidly as you move away from the original source.

Okay, let’s just say, some radiation does reach us.

Consider this… We are exposed to radiation daily.  We even voluntarily do it to ourselves by taking plane flights, having x-rays or mammograms, living or working in concrete buildings.  We even get a small dose by eating a banana.  Of course we know it is not the best for our health, but most of us manage to stay healthy despite this constant exposure to radiation.  And most of us are not fretting about this daily exposure.  At this time of writing this post, we are not sure how much or how little will actually reach us.  It may even be less than we receive on a daily basis.  Since we don’t really know, your sensible girlfriend suggests that instead of reacting out of fear, get up-to-date facts and then you can act rationally upon real information.  I know many people are just freaked out by the idea of any amount of “nuclear fallout” ending up in their community.  I believe all this “freaking out” can actually make you more likely to get sick no matter how much or how little radiation hits us.  The more you freak out, the more likely you are to stress yourself, lower your immunity and possibly get sick (from radiation or anything else).

Another thing you may have forgotten about is the power of mother nature. Remember the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico last year and how environmentalist, scientists and other pollution experts were surprised that mother nature cleared things up so much faster than expected.  Mother nature has amazing healing powers to counteract the damage that we humans cause.  We forget about nature’s efficient self cleaning system.  And even when we muck things up, she miraculously overcomes what we have done.

Here’s something else…

Many of the people that are extremely worried are worried more about their children. Children are more vulnerable because their systems absorb and metabolize differently than adults.  They are more likely to develop cancers from smaller dose exposures.  So, yes we do have to protect our children, but we also have to know what amounts of radiation our children are being exposed to before we just react out of fear.  It could be physically harmful to give your child potassium iodide if he or she is not getting a level of exposure that warrants ingesting this chemical.  It can be mentally and emotionally harmful for your family’s wellbeing to leave home and “run” from the radiation.  Our homes are our children’s safe place.  When we have to leave our home, it more than likely will be a traumatic experience for your children.  And children look to their parents for emotional cues.  If you are freaked out, your children will be effected emotionally.  Any kind of concern about this situation should be kept to ourselves (adults) and not shared with our children unless they are old enough to comprehend what is really happening (and if so, explain it to them with facts and without a message of fear).

There is a lot of panic happening out there.  I am just saying, stay informed, take reasonable precautions, and stay calm for the sake of your family and your own health.

My thoughts and prayers go out to friends and families affected in Japan.

Your Sensible Girlfriend

In honor of Valentines Day, I thought I’d share my thoughts with you on how to make sure your husband is happily married and what he needs from you, his wife.

I love men.  I’ve always loved guys.  They are just different from women. They are straight forward and mostly predictable.  They are methodical and usually focus on one thing at a time.  And they try hard at making the woman in their life happy (at least the well-adjusted ones).

How can we make our husbands happy?  What do men need? Is there a secret formula? The good news is that there is!

Just like women, men need to feel supported and loved by their wives… but what makes them feel loved and supported may not be what you think! Women need safety, security, emotional and financial support along with nurturing and a man that makes her feel sexy– this is just a short list of what women tend to need from their husbands.  So it makes sense that we as women try to give our men these things that WE would want and need.   But unfortunately with this approach, we’re really giving our man what a woman would need, not what a man really needs.  Most women are not conscious of this and may be able make her husband happier by consciously giving him what a MAN really needs.

What does a man really need from his wife? Here are some basic things that men need.  This is not to say that these are the only things your man in particular needs, but these are things that nearly every man requires to be happy in his marriage…

The Temptress, The Mother and The Queen– Men need to experience all three of these qualities in their wife in order to have a fulfilling marriage. I took a course called Understanding Men where I learned about the archetypes– the Temptress, the Mother and the Queen.   The Temptress is sexy and flirtatious.  She makes him feel sexy, playful and wanted.  The Mother is loving and nurturing.  She takes care of him and does things that soothe him.  The Queen is his partner.  She can hold down the fort and run the castle if he is away.  She “has his back” on all matters and will make sure that no one takes down their castle.  If you are missing one of these qualities, your man is probably feeling a loss in that area too.  He may find something (alcohol, drugs or some distraction) or someone to replace that quality (a maid to clean, a cook, a massage therapist to nurture, a woman friend to flirt with, someone else in the family he feels he can rely on if he doesn’t have his queen) , but these relationships can sometimes lead to strife or an extra-marital affair since they are getting a crucial need met somewhere else. Or if a child is taking on the role, it can take its toll on the healthy balance of  family dynamics.   Being only the Temptress, your relationship will only be based on attraction and sex.  Being only the Mother, your relationship will be only about taking care of him.  Being only the Queen, your relationship may be a great partnership, but lacking warmth, feeling and intimacy. Our husbands need a particular balance of all three archetypes based on their individual needs.

If you are missing one of these qualities and you don’t know how to interact with your husband in that way, what should you do? Talk to your husband about it.  If it is being the Temptress, talk to him about when you first met and what first attracted you to him and ask him what attracted him about you, then suggest you pretend that you’re on a first date to get that flirtiness back.  If it is being the Mother, tell him that you would like to be more nurturing and offer him a foot rub, back rub or ask him what would make him feel taken care of and cared for.  If it is being the Queen, besides taking care of the household (which is no small task I might add), take interest in what he is interested in and try to support him in his goals and aspirations.  Any effort you make to be the Temptress, Mother and Queen may surprise him, and ultimately will be appreciated (if he understands that you are trying to be the best wife).

Another thing you may not know is that a man needs to feel admired. I tell my husband how much he impresses me all the time.  It is important for them to know that they are “The Man!”  Men have egos.  They like to feel manly (for the most part).  They like to know that they are in your eyes “cool” or “smart” or “sexy” or amazing in some way. Tell him how incredible he is.

Here’s something you probably don’t know– Men love to make us happy. They live for it.  They want to know that they are doing something that makes us smile, gives us pleasure, takes away discomfort or makes us sigh in admiration.  They want to be our hero.  Even though you might be very capable of doing everything yourself… Let him be your hero. Let him help you, give you joy and then LET HIM KNOW how happy he made you or how good he made you feel.

Make sure he knows you’re on the same team. As I explained in detail in a previous post (called Husband Feeling Neglected After the Baby Is Born?), we need to be on the same side as our husbands.  Many marriages are adversarial, where each person is fighting to get their needs met.  If instead, both of your actions are motivated by “playing for the team”, no one has to feel at a loss, neglected or taken for granted.  You and your husband will feel supported by the other’s actions.

Give 80/80 rather than 50/50. If you give eighty percent and he gives eighty percent (as opposed to 50/50), you both will feel so supported that you will want to do more for each other.  It becomes a vicious cycle of love and support.

Another thing women fail to see that men value… Women are mysterious creatures to men.  It’s not only that we think and act differently, but they sense this mystical power that we have (to create babies, to charm them, to inspire them).  Men innately know that they need women.  And once they have a woman with all three qualities of the Temptress, the Mother, and the Queen, they get the sense that they can accomplish more than they could on their own.  They feel inspired by this partnership to do something greater than they thought they could do before (become a father, husband or fulfill a dream).  Knowing this, a woman can actively inspire her husband to be the best he can be.  She can be his backbone or his rock that he needs.  In turn, he will be the most loyal, loving, supportive, appreciative, kind, generous man that you’ve ever seen.

Here’s to Your Happy Marriage,

Your Sensible Girlfriend

P.S. Much of this info comes from Understanding Men PAX Seminars originated by Alison Armstrong.  Amazingly helpful information for single or married women.