2 Year-Old Rear-Facing, 3 & 3/4 Year-Old Front Facing in Car Seat

I thought I was the only mom who continued to keep her children in the rear-facing position in the car seat after they turned one year old. I thought I was the only mom who would get strange looks and comments from others when they would see my toddlers still “rear-facing”.  And I thought I must be the only one who has experienced a serious car crash and knows that even in low speed crashes, whiplash is extremely violent to the neck and spinal cord.  But it turns out that I am not the only one.

Boys Having Fun In Car

I talked to a mom online who feels the same as I do– from the comments and strange looks to her gut feeling telling her to keep her children rear-facing.  She sent me some information that confirmed that listening to that gut feeling has been keeping our children safe.  It turns out that mothers in Sweden keep their children rear-facing until they are four years old.  Research shows that only 9 children within 5 years died in Sweden due to car crashes.  Compare that to the fact that the leading cause of death for children in the U.S. after they are one year old (once they are turned around forward facing) is from car crashes. This woman told me that it was hard to get her friends to realize the seriousness of this until she found this sobering information put out by a group called Car Safety 4 Kids.

Most parents I know turn their kids forward facing once they turn one year old because there has been information out there from pediatricians and others credible agencies that recommended doing so.  But many parents don’t realize that since April 2009, the American Academy of Pediatrics updated their recommendation to keep children rear-facing until at least two years old. In addition, they say that if your car seat allows your child to sit rear-facing beyond two years old, then they recommend you keep your child rear-facing until they are beyond the age or weight limits of the car seat in the rear-facing position.

Luckily my husband agrees with me on keeping the children rear-facing.  He met an emergency room nurse that told him to please keep your kids rear-facing until at least 35 pounds. She said that she sees so many horrific accidents that could have been greatly minimized by keeping the children rear-facing.  My oldest child is now 40 pounds, three and three quarters years old.  I just turned his car seat around to front facing because his legs were falling asleep being scrunched up.  I am glad that I kept him rear-facing for these past few years.  Now his spinal cord and neck are much stronger, so that in the event of an accident, he won’t be as vulnerable to serious or fatal injury.  (The younger the child, the more likely his or her thin spinal cord could stretch and break from whiplash; that is the same affect as decapitation!!!) Having been in some serious auto accidents myself, I know how violent and long-lasting whiplash can be.   That’s why the Swedish take this seriously to keep millions of children from dying.  If only more Americans would realize it is a matter of life and death, we could save millions of American children’s lives.

Your Sensible Girlfriend

[Photo Credit: NASA; the Gulf oil spill April 29, shortly after the April 20 explosion.]

As a parent, we want to protect and shield our children from the horrors and disasters of the world. But the reality is that we live in a world where bad things happen.  Take for instance, the recent oil spew in the gulf which is a devistating disaster harming sea life, ocean, beaches, people physically and financially and the long term affects are unknown.  Or the subprime housing fiasco which pulled the rug out from under the foundation of our economy.  We feel it.  We can’t ignore it.  But how much do we share about it with our children?  A mom I know posed this question which got me thinking about the duality in life.

My children are very young, so we haven’t gotten that deep yet…

But my belief is to always tell them everything based in truth and as much reality as is age appropriate… and then to end with hope for the future or the possible upside of things.

Children take in a lot from us that is non-verbal. If we react deeply to a situation such as the oil spill, they feel it.  If we feel hopeless about the state of the world and our future, they will feel it even if you express in words otherwise.

In my opinion, it comes down to our own trust in life. Yes there is always going to be duality, as there is always dark and light.  But that dark can be interpreted and deeply felt either as despair and hopelessness… or as the reality of darkness that does exist in this world, but does not take away the abundancy of light that also exists.  Nature (God/Universe) has a way of giving ultimate power to the good, even if we don’t see or understand it.  The law of nature is healing beyond statistics, studies, human degradation and our capacity to understand it or see it in it’s entirety.

My belief is that this trust in the good (God/Universe) in life is the rock that will keep me and my family on solid ground when life throws unknowns our way. Even if we don’t talk about this trust, our children feel it in our voice, in our body language and our overall energy.  As they grow up, it can help them to face the dark in life and deal with it as it comes their way.  We parents can demonstrate that we can care and even act upon what is happening without being swallowed up by the darkness of it.  It is a tool that can even help our children to be leaders in shining light where it seemed only darkness existed.   We can share a limited amount of the reality of the situation with them and then any amount of good or hope that we can see.

With the good comes the bad… and with the bad comes the good.  Which do you want to focus on?  That’s what your children will focus on too.

Wishing you and your family lots of light in a sometimes dark world,
Your Sensible Girlfriend

There is something about imitating grown-ups and doing what we do that is so satisfying to children.  I cook and bake a lot, so my two and a half year old son is happiest when cooking and baking with me.  I can see how this satisfaction and pure bliss permeates his soul.

His Waldorf preschool teacher put it in perspective for me when she said we feed our children healthy food, but this kind of interaction is nutrition for the soul; it’s not an option for them; they need this in order to grow into healthy, well-balanced people.

I believe if we don’t feed this need, the outcome for this malnourished soul can be mistaken for: naughty behavior, helplessness, neediness, attention seeking or many other symptoms depending on the individual child. It definitely heals these behaviors in my children.  (It’s not only baking with your child that is good food for the soul… I’ll have to write another post on that subject)

Baking with children is not quick and it is definitely messy.  My two and a half year-old son helps measure the  ingredients, sift the flour, crack the eggs (not all of it always makes it in the bowl) and loves to mix.

He likes to get his hands on all of it.  He likes to be totally involved.  I like how he can see the results of his efforts when the cookies or cake comes out of the oven and he gets to eat it.

And I can see how this really helps his self esteem because it makes him feel capable.  My younger one just likes being involved with his hands in something messy.

One of my friends said she doesn’t bake with her kids because she’s not familiar with baking and doesn’t know what recipes are easy for kids.  She asked me what do I bake?  My answer is that I don’t limit our baking to specific recipes just because they are easy or kid-friendly.  I just bake whatever I think my children will enjoy eating.

We make a lot of muffins, bar cookies, cookies that require cookie cutters, pizza dough and occasionally cake if I am making one for someone’s birthday or a special occasion.

I let the table and floor get messy covered in flour, sugar and dripped egg whites.  Another part of the “fun” for my children is cleaning up the mess.  I let them suck up the spilled remnants with the vacuum cleaner, lick the beaters of course and also let them wash the dishes.

They love every bit of it because they are doing “what mommy does”.  In the end we’re all happy and as a bonus, we’ve got a sweet treat to eat.

I say bonus because the reason we bake most of the time is for the entertainment value of the process, not necessarily for the finished product.  I think that is one of the secrets of keeping a child happy– be in the moment with them, enjoy the doing,  and take pleasure in the process.  If we adults could do that more often, our souls would probably be happier too.

Stay tuned… recipes will be revealed when I can find the time to post them.

Your Sensible Girlfriend

A mom in my playgroup recently asked for some advice about getting her children to sleep.  This seems to be a problem for many families because there are a lot of books on the subject and I hear this same concern from other parents.

I am thankful to say that I have been pretty successful in getting my children to sleep.  I have worked out a specific routine and methods based on things I’ve learned.  Some of it comes from various articles I’ve read and some of it comes from a sleep expert that I interviewed for a television show… so these methods can also work for adults.  Here’s my philosophy and here’s what I do…

Routine is very important for kids, so in our house we stick close to the same routine every night.  The whole evening revolves around “winding down”.  Children are such physical beings, naturally with so much energy in their bodies, they need to transition the energy from their bodies into their head to get sleepy.

• Around dusk, if we turn on the lights, we keep them dim.  Bright lights will affect a child’s mood and can amp them up.

• Close to bedtime, I have my child put all toys away.  I don’t allow him to play with toys because it winds him up physically.  If we do anything fun, it would be reading a book so he can get begin to focus more energy into thinking, rather than being physical.

• Bath time is important because elevating the body’s temperature helps a person sleep better at night.  Keeping the bedroom temperature cool (around 65-70 degrees) helps the body to feel warmer than the outside temperature which helps induce sleep.

• Keep the bedroom free of clutter.  We put bedside books away in a basket.  Only blankets, pillows and stuffed animals stay on the bed.  And no electronics by the bed either.

• Sometimes I spray lavender essential oil on the pillows.  The lavender scent helps to calm and relax.

• We used to light a candle and read by candle light.  The flickering candlelight is symbolic of the sun going down and subconsciously sends a message that it is time to go to sleep.   When my son was ready to go to sleep I would let him blow out the candle.  (My husband would let him hold the candle and blow it out when he was just over a year old.  This gave him great respect for being careful with fire.)

• Instead of the candle, now we do more talking to process what happened during the day.  This talking helps him to get even more into his head preparing him for sleep.

• Once we are lying down, I start with the same words every night, “We had a nice, fun day!”  “What did we do today?”  Now before I say it, he will say, “What did we do today?”  Then he will continue talking about what we did that day.  This helps him to search his memory banks, inducing sleep even more.

• If he had a particular problem that day, I will ask him if he wants to hear a story.  He always replies, “Yes!”.  Then I make up a story about Earl the squirrel or Molly the mouse and have them encounter the same problem he ran into that day.  Earl or Molly will be able to model the behavior that I want my child to have and amazingly this really does work!  And of course at the end of the story, Earl the squirrel or Molly the mouse is happy, safe and sound with his mommy or his mommy and daddy.  Also, all of his friends, his mommy and his daddy are happy too.

• We do deep breathing together to let out any extra energy stuck in his body.  Deep breathing also brings more oxygen into the body relaxing him even more.  (One time I woke up in the middle of the night to hear him deep breathing himself back to sleep.)

• The final thing to lull him to sleep is counting.  (I give my husband the credit because he started this counting sheep, as well as the deep breathing)  Now we count whatever my son wants.  I make sure he can visualize it in his mind as we are counting.  Sometimes it’s trains going by.  Other times it’s doggies walking by.  (His first “joke” was that he wanted to count “Goats eating a banana!  It’s funny!”, he said and then he laughed for a long time.)  Counting always puts him to sleep if we make sure to do all the other things in “winding down” process through the evening.

It really is that simple.  Set a routine and stick to a regular bed time.  Then you and your spouse will be able to enjoy a few hours of time to yourselves before you turn in for the night.

Good luck and sweet dreams,

Your Sensible Girlfriend

When I was growing up, I used to envy all the kids who were fortunate enough to have dance lessons, soccer practice, acting lessons, etc.  I thought they were given a head start to become better people than I would be able to be.  But now as an adult, I see that so many children have every moment of their waking hour mapped out in a schedule that seems more detrimental than helpful.  I wonder, “what are we teaching our kids… that we need to be type-A, over-achievers in order to make it in the world?  Is that the true pathway to success?”

Now with the recent recession, parents aren’t able to spend the money on all of the extra-curricular activities and at the same time, a new movement for a slower childhood has started to question if all of this organized activity is healthy.

This is an interesting perspective to consider…
Below is an article I think is worth reading and pondering.
My question: Is it our competitive nature as Americans to push our children to excel so much so that we fill their “free time” with so-called “educational” or “constructive” activities?

Your Sensible Girlfriend believes the answer is “yes”.  And in my opinion, to push children into learning this type of competitive nature does not necessarily lead to success and happiness.

article from the Toronto Star, May 09, 2009

Why free-range kids are on the rise
Amid recession, there are signs the status-obsessed helicopter parent is under threat

Andrea Gordon
FAMILY ISSUES REPORTER

Elizabeth Sloss and Kari Svenneby live at opposite ends of Toronto. They are mothers at different stages of childrearing. One has sons, the other a daughter.

What they have in common is attitude. Call them the anti-helicopter parents. They’re less about hovering, more about laissez-faire. In their opinion, boredom is not bad for children. And they steadfastly refuse to join the legions of mothers and fathers chauffeuring kids from piano lessons to soccer to tutoring centres aimed at earning them a spot on the honour role.

As Sloss describes it, she is “among the avant-garde of benign neglect.” Her sons, 19 and 14, walked to school without grownups from a young age, always played freely outside, and – horrors! – even on the road. But then again, isn’t that why they call it road hockey?

Svenneby isn’t averse to organized activity, “but it’s a question of balance.” Her four-year-old daughter plays outside everyday, rain or snow. She climbs trees and makes dandelion crowns.

Until recently, these two mothers might have been lonely voices in the playground, but their calls for slower, freer childhoods are catching on.

Helicopter parents, those obsessive, overprotective mothers and fathers who do their kids’ projects on endangered species, harangue their soccer coaches for more playing time and accompany their teens to job interviews, have been around for a few decades, though not always under that name.

Largely a phenomenon of the affluent and middle classes, helicopter parenting was born out of several factors: global competition and the fear that North American kids wouldn’t keep up; the erosion of communities and neighbourhoods; and an increasing view of children as extensions of their parents’ identities.

Few would argue that the era of hyperparenting, micromanaging, helicopters – whatever you choose to call it – is over. But the zeitgeist points to the beginning of the end.

Put an ear to the rails and you can hear rumblings from the distance; signals that it’s okay to ratchet things down in school, sports and after-school hours. This week the Canadian Council on Learning became the latest voice declaring that grade school kids are better off without homework. Parents in Toronto have launched a new non-contact kids hockey league for families that want to opt out of dangerous, über-competitive play, and in Scarborough, the SCARDESO soccer league is booming even though it doesn’t keep scores or standings.

Researchers like Michael Ungar, author of Too Safe For Their Own Good and an expert on resilience, continue to warn that kids are deprived of learning and independence by bubble-wrapped childhoods and that they need freedom and time to take risks and make mistakes.

And the venerable Scientific American magazine recently reported that today’s kids, robbed of free play, may turn into “anxious, unhappy and socially maladjusted adults.”

Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, a Manhattan child psychiatrist and author who was among the first to popularize the term “hyperparenting” doesn’t believe parental anxiety is on the wane. But he says the hurried childhood might slow down slightly thanks to the recession.

“It’s becoming clear to some people that the amount of money spent on activities is really taxing the family budget,” he said in an interview from his Connecticut home.

The helicopter phenomenon took one of its most lethal hits a year ago from New York mother and writer Lenore Skenazy. She let her nine-year-old son Izzy ride the subway from a department store to his Manhattan home – all by himself. Then she wrote about it in the New York Post and predictably, soon ended up on national TV defending her reckless behaviour. Izzy became the poster child for hands-off parenting.

But Skenazy also tapped into mounting misgivings about hysterical parents and overcoddled kids. She got so many kudos that she launched a blog and just published a book. And now the phrase “free-range” no longer just applies to chickens.

Skenazy’s book, Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children The Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts With Worry, has turned up the volume on the topic.

That approach is shared by Sloss, who recoils in horror when grownups shout at three-year-olds: “Don’t run! You might fall down!” Who ever croaked from a skinned knee?

Sloss, 50, doesn’t believe in the overwrought pursuit of activity and achievement either.

“I believe over-busyness is crippling,” says the lawyer and bioethicist, who now works as a freelance editor. “I think stillness is one of the most precious aspects of being alive, and out of that comes wisdom. But we program that out of kids and it’s tragic.”

For Sloss, the slow childhood phenomenon isn’t happening in a vacuum: She likens it to community-minded trends like slow food and the buy-local movement.

The 36-year-old Svenneby says that while the movement may be gaining favour among the intelligentsia, it’s a long way from being mainstream.

Born and raised in Norway, Svenneby is a librarian and certified chef with a missionary zeal when it comes to unstructured outdoor play.

She arrived in midtown Toronto three years ago in the dead of winter and was shocked to find the local park empty. So she launched a weekly outdoor playgroup to lure playmates for Maia, now 4. Since then, four year-round groups have sprung up around the city under the Active Kids Club banner. On Wednesday, about 35 kids showed up to frolic on the lawns of Kew Gardens in Toronto’s Beach neighbourhood.

Svenneby, who has amassed extensive research and links on her activekidsclub. com website, says convincing parents about the importance of kids being in nature and learning to entertain themselves is no longer a hard sell. “Parents are already questioning themselves.”

David Elkind, however, isn’t convinced. A renowned child psychologist from Tufts University in Massachusetts and author of the landmark 1981 book The Hurried Child, Elkind was among the first to warn against the perils of pressure and overscheduling.

Yes, momentum is growing, he said in an interview from his Cape Cod home. But it’s no match for a culture of commercialism that conditions the youngest children to be consumers and plays expertly to the anxieties of their parents.

“I wish I could be more optimistic,” he says. “But it’s economic values versus human values and economics are winning out, so I’m not encouraged.”

What would it take? Either a disaster – like the continuing decline of child health – or someone famous and influential to take up the cause. U.S. President Barack Obama comes to mind. And so far he’s done okay when it comes to promoting family time in the White House.

In an interview with Salon.com this week, Skenazy provided a few pointers for parents who might want to branch out on their own. Leave your cellphone behind for a day and let little Dakota figure out where to find the peanut butter. Let the kids get themselves to school and let them figure out what to do when they’re bored.

And if you start to feel guilty, remember one thing: “The fun of childhood is not holding your mom’s hand.”

–

“I’d sign up for any class that will teach my kid to put away toys!”  That’s what one parent said to me when he saw my one and a half year old clean up after himself, putting toys back in the basket they came in.  Another mom said, “How did you get him to do that?  I always end up putting all her toys away once she is asleep.”  I told them truthfully it’s really easy to teach your child to put away toys.  Just as soon as they can take toys out, they can learn to put toys back.  They both said, “How do you do it!?!”

Here are some basic facts to help you understand why it is not such a difficult task:

• Children don’t see cleaning up as a chore (like we do), they just see it as another activity.

• Children like to be involved in anything that we (the parent) are doing.

• Children like to imitate.

• Children like routine.

• Children will follow direction if you make it fun, especially if the activity is paired with a song.

• Children do not only like order, but they thrive in an environment that is neat, uncluttered, orderly and aesthetically beautiful.

Here’s how I did it:

When my boy was about 8 months old, I started showing him how to put toys away.  I would sing the words “bum-bum” (just like they did in his music class when they put the musical instruments away) as I made a repetitive movement with my hand by picking up a toy and dropping it into the basket.  I did this several times in a row.  Then I would hand him a toy to put in the basket and continue the repetitive movement with my hand as I dropped each toy into the basket.  Because children like to imitate, my boy began to drop toys into the basket.  When children see a repetitive movement, especially when paired with a sound (or sing-songy sound), they can’t help but imitate it.  Dropping the toys in the basket seems like a fun game when paired with a sound.  And when a child sees a grown-up do something, they believe that is what is supposed to be done.

After doing this time and time again, I wouldn’t have to hand him the toy to put into the basket.  Instead, when I said “bum-bum, time to put away toys”, he would reach for toys on the floor and put them where he knew they belonged.

In my home, each type of toy has it’s own place categorized by theme.  For instance, I have all the musical instruments in one basket, while another basket has all of his cooking toys and another area there is a parking garage where he parks his cars and trucks.  I would put the toys in the same place every time.  To my amazement, before he was a year old, he learned that each type of toy has its own place and he would put it there.

It is important not to have clutter so that a child can really see what toys he has and be able to enjoy them.  I think of this as similar to a shopping experience at a high-end boutique store versus a Ross Dress for Less or a Marshall’s discount store where there are so many clothes stuffed onto the rack that it’s difficult to see if there is anything you like.  Whereas at a boutique store, there are fewer items displayed so that you can really appreciate and admire each outfit.  Children respond similarly, but are even more sensitive to their environment.  In my opinion, most American children have too many toys.  If there are too many toys in the room, even the coolest toys end up looking like a huge pile of clutter to a child.

Tips to Avoid Clutter:

•Rotate your child’s toys so that he or she is not overloaded.

•Try to keep the categorical themes, but switch out a car for a new one and store the other one away for another day.

•Take away toys that your child has outgrown.

• Display the toys as if you were a boutique store rather than a discount store.

So now that my boy is a year and a half old, I tell him that we have to “bum-bum” his toys before we leave the house.  I tell him about the fun things we are going to be doing, but he has to “bum-bum” before we can do those fun things.  This is very motivating and he puts away his toys very fast.  And I love that I come home to a clean house!  We also tell him to “bum-bum” before bed.  The thing about children is that they love routine, so if they know it is expected that they put toys away before they leave the house and before they go to bed, they will make a habit of it.  I’ve also showed him to “bum-bum” his cooking toys before he moves on to playing with his blocks, but this hasn’t stuck with him quite yet.

Now since he’s capable, when it is time to clean up, I walk him around the house and point to things and ask him “where does this go?”  He knows where it goes and puts it in the appropriate place.  Sometimes if there is a mess, he will point it out as if to say, “this is not how it should be, let’s clean it up.”

Speaking of messes… children need to be told what to do and how to do it rather than telling them what not to do (like saying, “Don’t make a mess.”)  I used to get so exasperated when my boy would throw things (especially food) on the floor.  I would tell him not to throw things on the floor, but he would do it over and over.  I finally realized that I needed to tell him that food doesn’t belong on the floor; it belongs in the bowl or on the table.  I reminded him over and over that I like when he puts things on the table rather than on the floor when he is done with it.  It is amazing to me that simply giving him instructions works.  I now see all kinds of things on the edge of tables around the house.  I am thrilled that he is putting things up rather than leaving them on the floor. Now he even surprises me by saying “bum-bum” and putting things back where he found them.

When we are at other people’s homes or at other playgroups, he sometimes will put toys away without even being instructed.  After storytime at the library where we do coloring, he puts the caps back on the pens and puts the crayons back in the bin.  I think that is because he is used to cleaning up and keeping order.

There are times when clean up does not happen and I don’t expect it.  Those times are when he is really cranky, tired, sick or hungry.  I will put him down for a nap and put his toys away for him so that when he wakes up he sees that everything is in its place where it belongs.  I think this continuity of seeing things neat and tidy is important .  I also think that it is helpful to praise your child for being neat and clean and let him or her think of himself as a neat and clean person by commenting on how they are so neat and clean.  I see an expression of pride on my son’s face when I point out how neat and clean he is.

Now by his standards it is not acceptable to have crumbs of food on the floor.  He will point to it and say “messy” and then run to get the dustbuster.  I think it is healthy for a child to appreciate beauty, order and cleanliness.  Why not start before they see it as a chore?

After posting my last blog post on Tylenol (a fever reducer) being a culprit to childhood seizures, I was reminded by a friend about the danger of high fevers causing brain damage.  Since I believe in being armed with knowledge to handle future problems, here’s some information on how to evaluate and treat a child’s fever.  It comes from A Guide To Child Health by Michaela Glocker, but I’ve condensed it and changed some phrases to be more simply understood.

• Tempuratures up to 99.5 degrees farenheight are considered normal.

• Temperature between 99.5 and 100.5 is elevated (considered a low grade fever)

• Temperature 100.5 or higher is considered a fever

• If child’s skin is cool but fever is over 104 or if he has a seizure, call your doctor immediately.  If you cannot reach a doctor, administer a fever-reducing suppository containing an age appropriate does of paracetamol/acetaminophen and take the child to the hospital

• A child’s temperature can become elevated from wearing too much clothing.  In infants, this type of temperature disappears quickly by removing a hat and leggings

• Vigorous movement can cause body temperatures to rise.  Check again after baby has been lying still for a half hour

How high a temperature is safe?

There is no hard-and-fast rule.  Any newborn with a temperature over 100.5 degrees for several hours should be seen by a doctor.  Do not delay if the baby is not drinking or seems unwell. A fever that is higher than 105 degrees or fluctuates by more than 2.5 degrees should be evaluated by a physician.

** With all other cases, the decision of whether or not to consult a doctor should be based on factors other than the fever itself.

Signs of fever/Treating fevers

If your child seems different or you “don’t like how she looks”, it’s time for more detailed observation.  How is she moving?  Is she imitating others as she normally does?  Check her eyes nostrils and breathing; feel the warmth on her forehead, neck, torso and limbs.  Touch her stomach and notice any signs of pain.  Take her temperature.  If you are unfamiliar or concerned with the symptoms you observe, call your doctor who will ask you more questions about her appetite, bowel movements, vomiting, etc.

If the skin on her arms and legs feels cool and temperature is approximately 101.5

You can be sure that her temperature will continue to rise because her body has not yet given off heat through the extremities.  Her calves and feet will feel hot only when the fever has stopped rising and the body is actively attempting to eliminate excess heat. Do NOT under and circumstances apply cool compresses to her calves during the initial chill stage, but applying hot compresses made with arnica essence to the wrists and ankles is helpful.  In addition, cover the child warmly and give her some hot herb tea (chamomile is soothing and calming).  (Note that some children may be allergic to arnica.)

If her skin feels hot all the way to the calves

Apply leg compresses if her temperature is over 102 degrees.  Cool sponging can also be used, but only if it feels comfortable to the child.  These measures support the body’s effort to eliminate excess heat through the skin.  At this stage in a fever, it is important not to obstruct the escape of heat.  In cooler climates, keep your child covered, but not as warmly as when the fever was rising.  Non-chemical fever suppositories such as Weleda Chamomilla comp., Wala Aconit/China comp., or Heel Vibrurcol will help your child feel better and can be used if her extremities are not yet hot.

If your child has a febrile seizure and his skin is hot

Cool him down by wrapping him in a damp towel (water should be at room temperature)

A child with a rising fever

Feels unwell and vomits readily.  She may have a headache or stomach ache that will lessen when the fever peaks.  Do not force her to eat, but give her warm herb tea if she asks for something to drink.

Feeding a child with a high fever, but no diarrhea

Give her plenty of fluids (Slightly sweetend herb tea or milk diluted with the same amount of water, or cool luke warm diluted fruit juice (cherry, blackcurrent, pear or lemon).  A bland diet is required with no potatoes and little fat or protein; no nuts, chocolate, etc.  Do not try to maintain weight in a child with a fever; she will quickly gain it back after the illness is over.

Clothing and bedding

Must be carefully adapted to the temperature of the room and the stage of the child’s fever.  Here are some general guidelines: Fresh air, but no drafts.  In cooler climates, if the window is open, your child should stay well covered and wear a hat and a sweater if needed.  Even in the heat of summer, keep him covered, at least with a sheet.  Your child’s limbs should stay warm and he should feel comfortable.

A restless child

May refuse to stay covered and want to get up and run around in spite of a fever.  He needs the calming presence of an adult who will sing, hum, tell stories or engage in some other quiet activity.

It’s useful to have a portable cot to move around the house so that the child can be near you as you work.

Most parents don’t take play seriously enough.  I know that seems like an oxymoron, but as I have watched my child play freely I’ve witnessed invaluable creativity, discovery and problem solving going on.  (I compare it to the times when my best creative ideas come to my mind– when I’m in the shower or when I am doing some routine task that is not working my analytical mind.)  Many parents are so eager to get their kids on the academic track of reading and/or analytical brain type thinking… and there is a time a little later in childhood for that… but what these parent don’t realize is that if a child’s mind is forced to focus on developing the thinking part of the brain at an early age, that child is not developing everything else as fully.  A mind that is engaged in serious thinking doesn’t have as much free energy to develop the senses (smell, touch, taste, sight & sound) and physical mastery of the body.  According to teachings by Rudolf Steiner, healthy development of the senses and the physical body equate to a healthy sense of self and relationship to the world.  These are important ingredients for a well-adjusted child.

So now I’ve found even more to back up these theories.  The journal Scientific American just came out with an article that sources many studies finding “free, imaginative play” to be crucial for “normal social, emotional and cognitive development”.  The article points out that it makes us “better adjusted, smarter and less stressed”.  Not only that, it may even prevent your child from becoming a future felon!  So take note, parents who are trying to create mini Einsteins: step back and let your kids play as they may.

Below is a link to the Scientific American article:

The Serious Need for Play: Scientific American

Posted using ShareThis

When I was a television producer for Lifetime Television, I had a guest pediatrician on one of my shows that showed us how to soothe a crying baby instantly.  His name is Dr. Harvey Karp and he wrote the book called The Happiest Baby On The Block.  On the show, he took at crying baby and did what he called the “5 S’s”… and within seconds the baby was quiet and happy.  His technique simulates the baby’s experience of being in the womb.  The following are the 5 S’s:

• Swaddling simulates the walls of the womb.  Babies are used to being surrounded in a tight space, so you will notice that newborns have what is called a startle reflex– their arms fly out and they experience a sensation of falling because they are not being contained within the womb.  If they are swaddled with their arms tightly bound, the are happy because it gives them the feeling of being secure.

• Shushing is a sound you can make that simulates the sound that babies hear in the womb.  Babies hear the loud shushing sound in the pregnant mom’s body from all the blood and bodily fluids rushing through her system.  So most effective is to make loud shushing sounds or what even works is to run the vacuum cleaner or blow dryer.

• Swinging is the motion a baby feels when being rocked in the womb.

• Side lying is the position that is the most comfortable for a baby.  You can swing and shush a swaddled baby positioned on its side.

• Sucking calms the baby.  Breast feeding works best, but any kind of sucking will be calming to a baby.

The thing about the 5 S’s technique is that you have to do them all and get it right or it will not work to calm a crying baby.  I’ve found that swaddling is not the easiest thing to do especially at 3 in the morning when the baby is screaming and you are bleary-eyed tired.  What helped me is a product called the Miracle Blanket.  This blanket is made to make swaddling simple.  The swaddling blanket had built in flaps that wrap around the baby’s arms and tuck behind the back. This ensures a tightly bound baby which is essential for the swaddling technique to work.  Some people wonder if the baby will be uncomfortable with its arms bound tightly to the body, but it is actually a secure and natural feeling as if back in the womb.  Another great feature is that it has a flap that envelopes the feet and legs, so if you have a dirty diaper, you can change it without unswaddling the baby!

Target has the “Happiest Baby On The Block” DVD for $17.99.

The Miracle Blanket is about $30 at lullabylane.com or miracleblanket.com or amazon.com